Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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