ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I have aggressive nipples.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
