if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
