i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
