My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
