The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
