so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
