JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize