HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
