cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
