Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
When are your genitals available?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
