mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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