Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
