Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
