i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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