Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
