She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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