I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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