She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
