one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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