In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
