Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize