We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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