if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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