once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
God, I missed his penis.
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