So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize