my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I stole a fireplace last night.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
