On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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