You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
