Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
