I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
