He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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