ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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