she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
