but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
