Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
