You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
