Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize