Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
whose parrot is this?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
