This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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