Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
