remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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