So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize
