My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
