i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize