Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
