Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
