i just made my gag reflex go away.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
