Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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