She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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