i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
