Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
