found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
why does every cop we meet know your name?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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