Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
