She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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