if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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