JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
