Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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