If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
